I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
