Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
