And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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