You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
