I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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