You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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