I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
