yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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