How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
