shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
