I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
