Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
