Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
