If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
