But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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