I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
