The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
