You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
