this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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