Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
