You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
