Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
