I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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