Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
