Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
