Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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