Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
