Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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