Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
