I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
