she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
