I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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