Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
