in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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