Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her vagine was all disorganized.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
