Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
return my video game
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
