i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
