Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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