FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
