In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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