I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
