i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You ruined the universe
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
