he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
