I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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