Where are you?
In a non slutty way
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i've created a new STD.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
