this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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