she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
