I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
