How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
