I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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