tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
