He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
