Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
